FAQ

Who do you coach or train?

Any adult (over 18 years old) who find that they need to explore or further deepen their experience in BDSM play may be a good candidate. I do not discriminate or discount the particular needs or desires of anyone based on age, race, religious observances, gender identification (or questions) or handicap. I ask everyone for a thorough background on their medical (including mental) condition, to determine if I can engage in activities safely, first and foremost.

What are the RACK guidelines that you follow?

I follow the RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) principles, and will work with you using the Yellow and Red safe words. If you are gagged or have chosen to be unable to speak, we will use a system of taps or other physical signals.

Yellow (one tap or one hand raise) is your signal to me that you are getting close to your limit. I will acknowledge your signal.

Red (two taps or both hands raised) means STOP. I will respond immediately by STOPPING any action carefully, and check in with you.

Post event there will be an arranged check-in within 24 hours (email, text, phone signal, as discretion requires). 

What are the risks?

While all physical activity may carry health risks, some of these offered may be potentially higher risk than others. Everything will be done from the baseline of safe, sane and consensual behaviors on my part. While there may be some minimal or surface bruises, just as can happen in playing common sports or engaging in strenuous exercise, I want to see you walk out the door feeling better for the time spent under my charge. These are highly charged interactions, even just in conversation, and I am highly aware and watch for reactions based on misunderstanding of boundaries and guidelines. I’ll watch for triggers and flags to keep us both safe.

What is your training?

While it would be wonderful to attribute all of my skills to honed instincts over time, I did train professionally in therapeutic counseling (1970’s) worked as an individual and group counselor specializing in addiction and family therapy, to serve LGBTQ+ people (1970’s – 1990s’) and the leather/fetish communities (1990’s). Regarding the play at BDSM activity: Besides living through the times of great experimentation starting openly in the 1970s, I studied physical techniques and practices in BDSM with experts and medical professionals offered through the Gay Male SM Activists (1990s), The Eulenspeigel Society (1990s) and workshops and private training at CLAW and other programs. 

Professional Coaching and Certifications: I am trained in a variety of methods of coaching and facilitation for personal growth and improvement, and certified to administer well-established and scientifically-based personality preference assessments and coach individuals based on these reports. My learning continues through continuous professional training in certified lifestyle and professional coaching programs.

What is expected of me?

You will follow a simple code of conduct:
1. We communicate with mutual respect and privacy.
2. Before there is any physical contact, you will inform me of any physical conditions that I need to be aware of in order to protect you from unwarranted harm.
3. Following the accepted understanding of “consensual” behavior, we agree to the terms, ground rules and how we will engage beforehand, but we agree to disengage at any time for any reason.
4. If there is a financial transaction required to make our session possible, including travel, equipment maintenance, location rental, or training fee, you will be responsible for covering that cost fully before the session.

What is your health status?

I am HIV negative and on PrEP medication (Pre-exposure prophylaxis for HIV). I screen for STI exposure continuously throughout the year as part of my health regimen.

What do you use for tools, toys and gear?

Currently I have a small collection of items and equipment that are kept in excellent condition. Many come from commercial construction, medical, and industrial work grade use. Where they may have direct contact with your body, they are cleaned hygienically after each use as best as possible with hospital-grade disinfectants and cleansers. Some items cannot be sterilized or cleaned with harsh chemicals because they may be damaged or may damage your skin with chemical residue, such as leather floggers, paddles, etc. Every attempt will be made to clean them as thoroughly as possible before they are used. As some people have allergies to natural latex I am prepared to use other non-reactive materials.

Some clients only use their own equipment for session work, and it is possible to arrange for those items to be cleaned and stored by me for your private use for a reasonable fee. 

Do you drink, use recreational drugs or party?

I do not drink alcohol, use any mood-altering substances, recreational drugs or PnP/Party when we are in session, and in fact do not drink alcohol or use recreational drugs in my daily life. I intend to maintain control and safety over you and our environment during our time together and will  monitor you for any adverse reaction (including to common recreational drug use, I may cancel or terminate a session before the full time is over if I consider you are in an unsafe or unhealthy state.